Nice Guys

[Tarvok]

A thought. I'm just going to dash this off before going to work and see what the response is; I'll develop the idea further later. But, first, two quick sentences:

Some "nice guys" really are "nice guys" in the bad sense. Other "nice guys" are just frustrated sapiosexuals.

[edward18]

...what?

A nice guy is a nice guy. Plain and simple. Nice ain't a bad thing.

[Campor]

...what?

A nice guy is a nice guy. Plain and simple. Nice ain't a bad thing.

Difference between a nice guy and 'nice guys.' Or Nice Guys. Depends on a person's personal preference.

A nice guy doesn't make a big deal about being a nice guy. Generally because they're actually nice and don't expect to be rewarded for it. The alternative are guys being 'nice' purely because they think it'll get them something in return. Laid, rewarded with promotions or attention, praised, whatever it is. They act that way because they want something out of it, not for the sake of being a pleasant individual.

Intentions matter.

[edward18]

that isn't being a nice guy then

[Campor]

that isn't being a nice guy then

It can be difficult to tell though is the issue. At first glance, they seem genuine enough. It's only when someone doesn't fall for it that the image tends to fall apart.

[Coldfire85]

There is definitely a difference between a 'nice guy' and a nice guy. A nice guy is good to people regardless of their interest in them sexually because it's the right thing to do. A 'nice guy' 's primary motivation to being 'nice' is to get into a relationship and/or have sex and tends to focus their good will on people who is the current focus of his interest. 'Nice guys' also do not see any problem inherent in themselves when it comes to a relationship; To them, the issue is always that the girl they want likes the 'bad lads', 'isnt' able to make a good decision on what's good for them' and they'd be a perfect match. There is no drive to improve themselves, no concept that maybe the reason they dont get the girl is that they try too hard, or that they're too possessive or protecting. Wether or not they smother their wannabie partner with affection and concern, drop things at a drop of a hat to help them and then get resentful that they get nothing out of it, they are somewhat deluded into believing that they are good and noble people because of their actions.

I know this, because i used to be a 'nice guy', until i almost lost a good friend of mine to being overly insistent. We're still friends, distantly, but that's after *years* of things boiling over and screwing up.

The sad thing is, such 'nice guys' dont even realise what they're doing can be deeply hurtful and worrying to another person. Fortunately, it's possible to transition from 'nice guy' to nice guy, it's just a case of getting a grip and realising that getting into a relationship is a two-way street...

[momomelon]

I always feel that its a tip off on whether or not a guys a "Nice Guy" (the not really that nice kind) when he calls me milady, or makes a big huge show of holding the door, or makes a bid deal about pulling out my chair.
while I appreciate people being polite, if I'm walking with you and you run ahead to a door we're still somewhat far away from, the fact that you held the door isn't going to impress me. you have to have a little subtlety.

[edward18]

....who do you interact with that even does that?...I mean...I thought that crap just happened in crappy comedy shows...

[momomelon]

it doesn't make me laugh. >.<
mostly guys who want a girlfriend so bad they don't care who she is.

[batsu-sama]

The thing that gets to me is the 'nice guys' who THINK they are doing it to be nice, but in truth are doing what they do with the ultimate goal of getting into her pants, then bitching to their friends when she 'doesn't put out'.

I think a quote i read some time ago is quite fitting: "She's not a bloody vending machine, you can't expect to keep putting friendship in and sex to pop out automatically. If you're not doing it for the sake of doing it, you're not a nice guy, you're a deceptive prick. You're deceiving her and even worse, you're deceiving YOURSELF."

[edward18]

I still find it insulting that people refer to them as Nice Guys.

[momomelon]

its more like they refer to themselves as nice guys. they say, "why don't girls ever go for nice guys? why do they always go for jerks, and nice guys finish last?? I do everything right, so I deserve to be your boyfriend!"

[Belkira]

This made me think of this thread.

http://xkcd.com/1325/

Don't forget to read the alt text!!

[g33x0R]

I always thought `Nice Guys Finish Last' would make a great title for an X-rated movie. ;-P Would be especially entertaining if the story [or what passes for a story, in porn] explored the differences between nice guys and `Nice Guys' -- and if the `Nice Guy' in it did *not* finish last, but got off, not out, and got on with his day like he could do no wrong. And didn't call her back the next day. ;-P


Cheers,
Patrick.

[Genooo]

Being a nice guy is rewarding, but only towards the right people ...