Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby daydreamer » Thu Jul 23, 2015 3:59 pm

Ugh, I see so much of myself in Candi, I feel like having crushes made me obsess over my biggest insecurities... Being a very jealous person and I still need lots of communicating with my boyfriend over that after nearly 2 years of dating. I don't think if Chris and Candi started dating, the jealousy would end soon. I'm sure Candi would always compare herself to Chris' past lovers and see herself in a skewed light, and as not enough in different aspects as other women. And if Candi is anything like myself, an overactive imagination can really affect your mood.
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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby LadyObvious23 » Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:23 pm

Chris isn't Alex. He is empathetic and does care if Candi is upset. And he is somewhat of a good listener.
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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby Tarvok » Thu Jul 23, 2015 9:15 pm

The response of some is to say, "Of course you are, Candi". Hugs and such.

But would the following be a more practical answer? "I'm sorry, Candi, but you don't get to make that decision, and you can't know what Chris can and will decide without, you know, actually checking with him." She just needs to work up the courage to say, "I like you Chris, but I can't handle how you are with other girls." And just leave that ball in his court.
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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby BenjaminT » Thu Jul 23, 2015 11:47 pm

They both need to change for themselves, not the other person.

Candi said:
I can't stand how he interacts with other girls...I mean, why wouldn't he act that way? They all just love him...


Plenty of people who get "love" and adoration from fans DON'T act that way. And there's lots of reasons why they might not want to. Acting that way is only reinforcing the aspect of his life that he doesn't like. He's aware of how superficial others' adoration of him is and when he makes empty meaningless flirtations to any and every girl he reduces the likelihood of any one of them developing a more intimate and real relationship. Heck, every time things start getting more real with Candi he ends up turning it light and superficial again.
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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby Sylvanaerie » Fri Jul 24, 2015 3:35 am

BenjaminT wrote:They both need to change for themselves, not the other person.

Candi said:
I can't stand how he interacts with other girls...I mean, why wouldn't he act that way? They all just love him...


Plenty of people who get "love" and adoration from fans DON'T act that way. And there's lots of reasons why they might not want to. Acting that way is only reinforcing the aspect of his life that he doesn't like. He's aware of how superficial others' adoration of him is and when he makes empty meaningless flirtations to any and every girl he reduces the likelihood of any one of them developing a more intimate and real relationship. Heck, every time things start getting more real with Candi he ends up turning it light and superficial again.


It could be he desires it, but he's just as frightened as Candi by that kind of relationship? And keeping it light and superficial is his knee-jerk reaction to not getting too close?
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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby BenjaminT » Fri Jul 24, 2015 7:02 am

Sylvanaerie wrote:
BenjaminT wrote:They both need to change for themselves, not the other person.

Candi said:
I can't stand how he interacts with other girls...I mean, why wouldn't he act that way? They all just love him...


Plenty of people who get "love" and adoration from fans DON'T act that way. And there's lots of reasons why they might not want to. Acting that way is only reinforcing the aspect of his life that he doesn't like. He's aware of how superficial others' adoration of him is and when he makes empty meaningless flirtations to any and every girl he reduces the likelihood of any one of them developing a more intimate and real relationship. Heck, every time things start getting more real with Candi he ends up turning it light and superficial again.


It could be he desires it, but he's just as frightened as Candi by that kind of relationship? And keeping it light and superficial is his knee-jerk reaction to not getting too close?


Definitely possible. I'd even say likely if this was the real world. Of course, in a world of flying ferrets, anything's possible so we can't really assume anything. If nothing else, it IS what he's used to and we tend to do what we're used to until we make an effort (sometimes significant effort) to do otherwise.
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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby cursormortis » Fri Jul 24, 2015 7:08 am

I think Chris acts the way he does in part because it's expected. He can't suddenly start turning girls away just cuz he wants to get serious with Candi. What would he tell them? Not the truth, and anything else would just start rumors.

That said, if Candi gave hints that she liked him, I think he'd switch it off. He'd be polite, but hewould make an active effort not to flirt. He might screw up now and then, but he'd try, at least.
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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby BenjaminT » Fri Jul 24, 2015 7:52 am

cursormortis wrote:I think Chris acts the way he does in part because it's expected. He can't suddenly start turning girls away just cuz he wants to get serious with Candi. What would he tell them? Not the truth, and anything else would just start rumors.

That said, if Candi gave hints that she liked him, I think he'd switch it off. He'd be polite, but hewould make an active effort not to flirt. He might screw up now and then, but he'd try, at least.


Chris has seen the variety of ways women act when they're attracted to a guy. He's gotten lots of "hints" from Candi's perpetual blushing and silence after certain moments. Not to mention swiping him on StdyDate and then actually meeting up him when he's invited her multiple times. These are things she just wouldn't have done when she was totally into Alex.
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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby Attalus » Fri Jul 24, 2015 8:31 am

PaulJones202718 wrote:Great. Alex really did a number on her, didn't he? She actually is worth the effort and should behave accordingly. Doing what she's doing means that she's gonna be alone like all the other women in her family.
Yeah. Talk about toxic relationships. What beats me is why she is still acting friendly towards him
SAGG wrote: Did she have the same sort of thing like this with Alex beforehand? The big thing to me is that Chris ain't Alex. He just ain't. :lol:
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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby tounces7 » Fri Jul 24, 2015 8:27 pm

Candi's self-worth aside, I think it's absurd to get into a relationship with the idea that the person needs to be changed.

If they aren't good enough how they are, find someone else. Nobody should have that sort of expectation of someone.
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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby wellheck » Sat Jul 25, 2015 8:24 am

How about Candi just sidestepping all of that harem-attention whore-childish drama Chris comes with? Who in their right mind would want to deal with that, especially knowingly? Hell, Chris already slept with jessica so Chris comes with drama preloaded! No thanks.

There are plenty of other guys out there for Candi to meet without past and present bs. Clean slates.

Has Candi figured out how to use call block yet?
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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby BenjaminT » Sat Jul 25, 2015 8:41 am

The problem is that Candi has so few people she finds attractive. On the other hand, as far as we know Chris wasn't attractive to her until relatively recently. So it's also possible that spending time with guys she enjoys being around who could be a potential if they ever started being attractive to her might eventual lead to fruit.
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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby SAGG » Sat Jul 25, 2015 4:54 pm

BenjaminT wrote:The problem is that Candi has so few people she finds attractive. On the other hand, as far as we know Chris wasn't attractive to her until relatively recently. So it's also possible that spending time with guys she enjoys being around who could be a potential if they ever started being attractive to her might eventual lead to fruit.


Hm. I don't know, man. I don't think Chris knows the extent of how much Candi really likes him. I'm just guessing, but I'm thinking he's still just friends with her, albeit a tad better than before... :)
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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby g33x0R » Sat Aug 01, 2015 10:02 am

SAGG wrote:Chris, however, probably doesn't know Candi has a crush on him. So why should he change for her? Let her tell him first, then we'll see what he will do...

I think they both have some idea what's going on, emotionally.

Anyway, this one's a bit tricky because, in light of that crush, she does have every right to feel weird about him flirting with other women, but at the same time they're *not* in a relationship. Not yet, anyway. If they were [okay, it's looking more like `when they are' at this point], they should definitely have a little talk about this. But at this point she has no solid claim on him or his attentions.

Also, he did change his behaviour as soon as she took off. He ditched the fan-girls and brought her that cider.


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Re: Someone worth changing for 7/21/15

Postby BenjaminT » Sat Aug 01, 2015 10:54 am

I could totally be wrong but my impression is that he doesn't know the extent of it but he has had moments when he's suspected it's more than he's assumed at the very least. It's a bit similar (though not quite identical) to Candi not realizing how much Jon likes him. She continues to be surprised by little things here and there that she should have long come to expect. And if someone mentions it she denies it but if they press she acknowledges there's something but that people are blowing it out of proportion. If Thad, for instance, were to point out the numerous instances of Candi catching Chris by surprise and pointing out how she totally digs him I could see Chris respond in much the same way that Candi responded when Laura and Jess did the same to her about Jon.
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